Rememberance:Looking through Funeral Service pictures of my beloved husband

My neighbour's son Rakesh Srivastava was a professional photographer. It was he who took upon himself to shoot these pictures, some also shot by my middle son Sonu. I never looked through them till 2011 winter, 13 years after my husband's death. It was still heart-wrenching but also nostalgia, remembering my husband and all the kindly neighbours who helped me in my time of need.

Me and my eldest son Ravi, he was in IIT Delhi then and his friends helped him to flew down to Lucknow by arranging air-fare.

It was difficult to reach him for then we didn't had a telephone, mobile phone were not in use. My husband's friend Rajpal Singh's neighbour's son was in a different IIT in Kharagpur , they managed to get number from him.

In front in blue shirt is my middle son Sonu, beside him is my brother-in-law Khannu. Bald man is Rajpal Singh. My uncle Dwarka Prasad Singh is in the left corner. Beside Khannu is my youngest son Monu and behind them is Pradeep Singh my husband's youngest brother.

When a person dies in Hindu religion, they bathe him and wrap him in white cloth. Here my two sons giving last bath to their beloved Papa.

Good neighbours may quarrel or have differences in good times but when ever "Bad Time" comes they generously help each other.

My husband was a very good student, he was so lost in his studies that he would skip meal times, that's what gave him liver sicknesses. He died after suffering a lot through out his prolonged illness.

My younger sons Sonu & Monu behind them Rakesh's mother. In right corner Shyam Bahadur Singh my Husband's maternal cousin and he is husband to my second cousin Kusuma too.

In Hindu Religion women are not allowed in cremation ground. I was asked to give "Mitti" as my Husband's funeral procession left.

Here is my mischievous neighbour Thekedar, forgot his true name. He was also very nice and helpful forgetting his past quarrels with my husband. He and his sister were our close-door neighbours. Incidentally both were from Chhitwapur, an old mohalla in Lucknow where my Father lived.

Cremation Ground was called Baikunth Dham. When we first moved in our Prem Nagar house this area was sparsely populated . From the roof you could see far off till the horizon. At night exactly at 8:00 you could hear temple bells. In rainy season you could even hear whistle of the Railway train. There were Farm house behind owned by a famous wrestler. My husband and his brother Pradeep together grew several types of vegetables in our Kitchen Garden, including some fruit trees like Guava and Papaya. Which grew in such abundance that we had to distribute them to our neighbours.

Frankly I never would have thought in my wildest dreams that my Husband's condition would deteriorate so swiftly. He died in his 49 th year, Six years back in 1992 he had came crying back to home after cremating his dear father who had unexpectedly committed suicide after some financial deals went wrong. In his last years he had become really pale and frail with my neighbours commenting on how yellow his skin looks.

It's strange but true some people behave extremely nonchalantly and are chatty enough even at a cremation. My young son told me later how young boys have came around in cremation and were laughing and chatting pleasantly as if it's a common place thing.

My Husband was a extremely educated person MSc. , B.Ed. .Before he joined L.I.C. of India , he taught in a government school. We hired no private tutors for our children as he taught his own kids at home helping them in their homework. His Math, Physics and English was really good. In the evening in good times in the 80's he would go out and play Volleyball with Manoj Srivastava , our neighbour's son who was 10 years younger and his friends.

Holi too was good times as we would together visit our neighbours and relatives and friends. They would visit us and have pleasant chat. In Diwali we would send sweets to neighbour's homes, and they would send to ours. My husband had no sister, just two brothers, Sudhir middle one worked in Bank while Pradeep a Polytechnic student went on to join B.B.D. University.

Shyam Singh Srivastava was Rakesh's father and it was he who coaxed my husband to go daily for a morning walk with him. They were always good friends and helped each other. Shyam Singh Srivastava worked in Post office and was married to Gayatri Srivastava. They had a big family with 5 sons and 1 daughter. How Gayatri managed this big family I always wondered.

My husband was very progressive far removed from the male chauvinistic society around him. He never raised a hand on me and we would have frequent friendly fights or differences. He let me get further education and complete my graduation. He would always ask my opinion and let me express myself fully . When I was sick he would even cook food and wash clothes.

Here is my son Ravi and Brother-in-law Pradeep. Ravi was always a Papa's boy, very close to him and obedient and as good in studies as him. Pradeep lived with us till his marriage. He was quite nice and took good care of my kids too. He would tell stories and take them for a walk to Alambagh Bazaar. Sometimes he would bring his friends and we would have a wonderful time. He also brought edibles from my Husband's village Bibipur, like delicious pure Ghee.

He had a good friendship with our milkman. He would lend him money to buy Buffaloes. They would chat for long and  it provided him a good walk too. When he got sick the nice milkman would bring fresh green vegetables for him. He had also three sons like us, Budhesh, Vachan and Rajesh. Rajesh was a friend of my middle son Sonu. In fact he was a class ahead of him in Lalita Hari Montessori School. Milkman passed away few years ahead of him. His son Rajesh too died recently leaving behind two young kids.

If any one wanted any advice on matters of Insurance , they would consult my husband. He was considered as most agreeable man in our locality. He and other fathers in our locality would sit around and discuss future of their kids. He was a very simple man and had no fancy taste in clothes and never drank or smoked. Most of his life he commuted by Bicycle, later on he bought Bajaj M80 and learned to drive it.

Ravi was befriended by Jaideep who was two classes behind him, but they came together in St. Thomas School bus. Through him we were introduced to his parents , a nice Bengali Ghose couple. Jaideep's father was a garrulous funny person who worked in Electricity Deptt. and his mother was a most jovial friendly spirit and a fine cook. They would visit us on Sunday evenings and we would together watch films on Doordarshan, then the only channel. Once they brought their relative too a nice Bengali boy who sang beautifully and made our evening special.

In Holi we would visit my brother Radheyshyam's home in Chhitwapur. My uncle Dwarka lived above, he and my husband got along really well, both interested in education. Chhitwapur had narrow by lanes like you had in old city.Later Radheyshyam moved to Indira Nagar and Dwarka uncle moved to Kanausi. His youngest son Deepu was Ravi's friend.

I think he got depressed after his father died, his two friends the milkman and Satsangi  too died few years before his demise. Satsangi lived adjacent to our house who was a bigamist ,he had left his wife and married a Bengali woman. She was an aggressive maternal type whom every body called Didi. She would organize many Kirtans and had a lots of friends who thronged her house. She was very popular and even thought of contesting election, though tragically she died of cancer in around 1990.